what a frustrating day so far

Whew, what a day I have had so far, and it is only 3 in the afternoon!

Yesterday after classes I went back to the psychiatric hospital to drop off my paper describing what it was that I want to be doing for them. I knocked on all the office doors and they were all closed, so I eventually went into the hospital library and asked where the secretary was and who I was supposed to drop my paper off with. They told me she had left for the day and to come back tomorrow.

So I woke up very early today so I could return to the hospital to get some closure and to speak with the professor/head psychiatrist and finally finalize an official internship... when I could start, who I would work with, what I would be doing, etc. I showed up today and the secretary tried to explain to me that he was in a meeting right now (approximately 9:45 at this point) and that he had a "reunion" at 11, and that I could join him at the reunion. I was unsure of what the French word "reunion" meant, but now I realize that it is a gathering of many people. But I kept asking the secretary, "Why would I come to the reunion with him? I just want to talk to him about my internship," and then she threw her hands up in the air and started moaning about how it is too hard to talk to me since I don't understand French, and so she asked this other girl in the waiting room, also a white person, "Do you speak English so you can explain what I am trying to say to this girl?" The girl shook her head and said no, she only spoke French. Then the secretary continued to get frustrated because I didn't understand what she was trying to tell me. I tried to explain to her that yes, I did understand the French she was using, but I simply didn't understand why I was supposed to go to a reunion with the doctor when all I wanted was to discuss my internship with him.

Then she finally told me it was basically a weekly staff meeting for all the doctors, nurses, and interns, and that is when I understood why it would be beneficial for me to go. So I had to wait around in the hospital library, killing time, which was actually quite productive because I read some interesting articles in French about ethopsychology, which is an interesting concept.

So then the meeting rolls around and I followed these doctors, who barely acknowledged me, to the meeting where I sat with some French graduate students who are doing their residencies here in Senegal. They were friendly and, quite funnily enough, actually complimented me on my French and said I was doing a good job speaking. However, as if my initial humiliation with the secretary was not enough, the head doctor that was running the meeting started talking to me loudly enough so that everyone in the room overheard the conversation, and he kept asking me questions that I genuinely couldn't hear, so I kept saying, "Comment? Excusez-moi?" and he, too, concluded, "Oh, so you can't speak French? Will we have to speak to you in English?" and I responded, "No, I can speak French, and I understand what you're saying, but there is a lot of noise in the room so I didn't hear you," and he responded, "No, I think you just can't speak French."

Naturally, that put me in a great mood (sarcasm, obviously), and on top of all of that, I had to sit through this 2-hour staff meeting that BARELY applied to me, and was all in French and sprinkled with tons of technical, scientific vocabulary that I wouldn't have understood in English either.

At the end of this long meeting (half-way through which I realized, "Great, I didn't realize this meeting was going to last this long... I have French class right now but I can't get up and leave now, so I'll just have to skip French") the doctor walked out before I even got a chance to talk to him and hand him the paper of my information, which had been the original reason why I had waited around in the first place!!!

By this point, I was feeling very lost and confused, because I still had not gotten any of the information that I had come there to get (aka: who am I working with, when I am supposed to show up, what to expect, blah blah blah), and my one contact that I knew had walked away too quickly, so I turned to the psychiatrist who was sitting next to the doctor during the meeting, and told him I was confused about what I was supposed to be doing and when to start working.

He told me to return tomorrow (so now this will be 4 days in a row that I've gone to the hospital, and I feel more confused now than I did when I went on my first day) at 10 AM, and he would talk with me and make me a schedule.

I do not have high hopes that by tomorrow I will be anymore sure of this situation, but I am SO SICK of people insulting my French ability... not because it isn't true, because, yes, I agree that I am not a good French speaker. But when people say to me, "Oh, you don't understand French, do you?" it is just so humiliating, and it just isn't true. When spoken clearly and slowly, I understand about 75% of the French that I hear, but just like in English or any other language, there are some people that are not the clearest speakers.

Anyway, so I showed up for French class an hour late, just to get yelled at by Adji, Awa, and Waly, all of whom I ran into on my way to class, and to all of whom I had to explain why I was late and why I was in such a bad mood.

What a day... I hope this internship works out and that something good comes out of all this stress..............