Being part of an international community

I try to keep my blog posts a-political and also fairly positive (minus the ones where I am describing my negative experiences with culture shock and/or sickness). I want to solely document my adventures while I am abroad, and keep out all the other extraneous opinion pieces.

In my busy-ness, I neglected to post the obligatory September 11 post that I was hoping to write. Every day that passes by since September 11 makes me feel more guilty for not writing my thoughts and feelings of being in another country on such a momentous day.

Almost two weeks ago, I attended a memorial service in Hanoi for the 10-year anniversary of September 11. This was actually the main motive for my fun, liberating, rejuvenating trip to Hanoi. I've found that both during my experience in Senegal, and here, that my levels of patriotism seem to increase when I am abroad. I realize how much I love my country and the opportunities that it offers me, as well as the relative democracy and freedom that our political system offers us. I love how everything runs on time, is orderly, follows logic, and supports competition and supply/demand capitalistic principles. I love the diversity that is present in our country, and the development and technology that has occurred in my country.

I felt proud to be an American living abroad during September 11, because my time here is so indicative of America's resilience in the post-9/11 era. Citizens are still living abroad, going on fellowships, helping to offer resources to those in other countries, and most of all, not being scared to do any of these things. I feel proud to be an American ambassador, demonstrating my kindness and generosity to those with whom I work, and demonstrating that American attitudes have significantly changed since the Vietnam War.

Everything about my time here is significant with regards to US-Vietnam relations, and I am proud to help further those. All of this is even more significant in the post-9/11 era, because the world has moved on from fear, and we are continuing to live our lives and pursue international relations. Being here on September 11 made me feel proud of my country, and also made me feel proud to be part of an international community of people working together for global purposes, not individual countries' purposes.

Now, I feel very much the opposite, watching the live-stream of the protestors and reporters outside of Troy Davis' execution site in Georgia. I feel frustrated and helpless being so far away from my country, whose methods and decisions I wholeheartedly disagree with.

Living in another country forces me to intentionally plug myself into the news. I don't get to glance at headlines as I walk past newspaper boxes, and I don't have the news as background noise as I get ready for school. Here in Vietnam, I need to intentionally make an effort to inform myself about what is going on in my country. I've made an attempt to read the headlines and interesting articles on CNN.com at least once per day because I do not want to return to the US a year from now, not having any idea what is going on.

Now, following the daily developments of Troy Davis' case, I just feel angry that all I can do is read the news of this atrocity and sit back in my remote rural town in Central Vietnam. I feel angry at the policies in the United States that allow an unjust execution to occur, and I also feel angry at the racial attitudes that perpetuate these policies.

Like I said, I do not want to turn this blog into an overtly political outlet, only because that's not why all of you are reading my entries. I just want to express my current frustration (and abundance of other complex, nuanced feelings) at being an American abroad.

My apologies for the rambling rant.