I want to tell you goodbye

Today I had my first (of what will probably be many) botched goodbye.

I've been anxiously trying to plan my good-byes with the more "random" people of Ha Tinh who a) don't speak any English and b) haven't had a formal outlet to say goodbye like my students and co-workers. Namely, I'm thinking of the ladies at the market who wave to me when I walk by, or the lady who owns my banh muot restaurant that I've been frequenting almost daily since maybe January, or the little girl who lives at the cafe where Pepper (now no longer a cute puppy but a mangy, scruffy street dog) lives.

I don't like the idea of simply disappearing from life in Ha Tinh without them ever having the closure of some formal interaction to end things off. I don't want several months to go by and for them to say, "Oh, hey, where's that random American girl? I haven't seen her in a while!" I don't think that would be a fair way to repay them for their kindness and patience towards me.

I've been putting off these goodbyes for as long as possible in anticipation of just how awkward they would be, and, as of today, I now know how correct my anxious anticipation was.

I picked up my laundry from the lady who has been doing it since maybe December, and I tried to tell her in Vietnamese "I will return to America. I want to tell you goodbye." This was an utter failure. She had no idea what I was trying to say, even after several tries and repetitions. I'm sure that I got all the tones and accents in the phrase completely wrong, but I was still really disappointed to, after 10 months, not be understood AT ALL. And even more disappointed that, after several attempts at goodbye, my laundrywoman got exasperated with listening to my bad Vietnamese and went away to get my laundry and my extra change.

I'm not entirely sure that I ever actually got the point across that I was leaving and was trying to give both of us a sense of closure. Maybe I will have to rethink my plan to say goodbye to all the nice people who have been friendly to me, because I cannot bear to go through anymore awkward iterations of that! Loyal blog readers.... any suggestions?